Let me share a secret with you: Everybody has fear of intimacy! Some might be more skilled at concealing their fear but the truth is that they still experience it. Let's have a look what we can do about it so that we can like better intimacy in our life.
Why carry out we have fear?
In general, fear is a physical sensation that makes us aware of potential danger with the intent to keep us safe. In intimacy we open up, we expose our innermost and share ourselves. This makes us extremely vulnerable and exposed to potential heartbreak and pain. Numerous will have experienced these pains and have past references that they carry around with them at all day. The fear is saying: 'Be careful not to open up too much, you could find hurt benefit from you did before!'
No form around it
The truth is: There is no shape around it. In order to experience the bliss of intimate connection, falling in love with someone and living happily ever after (if there is such a thing) we want to conquer this fear. It is the doorway. What holds us back is that when we approach the doorway, we cannot yet see what is on the other side and because we are not certain, our fear makes us believe that we should rather not try whichever.
Become a nun
One single of my clients recently expressed this fear. Her strategy was to create a life that was very comfortable and she enjoyed many things as a single woman. And still, she came to see me because she knew she had to face the fear of meeting new potential intimate candidates. I asked her: 'You have the opportunity of living your life the way you are now or stepping out into the unknown. You haven't yet convinced me that you prefer to become a nun...'
Not 'getting over' but 'going through it'
There is no easy recipe or step-by-step guide to locate over your intimacy fear. The only manner is through it. Start by giving yourself an attainable goal, enjoy meeting one new person a week. At the moment you might wish for to practice meeting people and engaging in conversation, whether they are male or female.
Another opportunity is that you sign up meant for an Internet dating site. This allows you to put into practice connecting, flirting through email or on the phone, before meeting in reality. Allow yourself time and options that are practicing fields rather than placing all your expectations on mister or misses soulmate.
Another resource to remind yourself is that what you are working towards is the end result: An intimate relationship. Keep this in mind - you will remember those first moments fondly.
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