The abuser will pick something that you are proud of or something that you may love. I will give you and example: you are a beautiful woman and are well educated. Your boyfriend or husband will constantly tell you that you are"stupid" and "ugly". Does this sound familiar? You know that you are none of these things. You will be constantly bombarded with insults about your looks and your decision making. Please remember that you are beautiful and intelligent. The abuser knows this too. The abuser will say mean and hateful things to you, until you will begin to believe him. You will genuinely begin to believe that you are stupid and ugly; and no man would love you or take you but him.
After the verbal abuser gains control over you mentally, he will have control over you physically. An example of mental control that turns physical, is when a male pimp has control over a woman. How can this man control women like he does? His power over women is so strong that other women will enforce his orders and emulate his sociopathic behavior. He would begin his quest for mind control by being her friend, her father and her everything. After this is achieved he would begin to say things like "I love you"; "I am the only man that will love you". He would tell you that, he will take care of you. He would ask you to trust him. He will convince that woman that she needs him, when it is the other way around. Everything is fine until that first time she disobeys one of his orders. She will be beaten relentlessly. The verbal abuse will be the glue that binds the physical control to mental control.
An abuser physical or verbal, is an abuser who wants power over the object of his desire. If I told you that the abuser is a person who does not want to lose you and don't want to see you with some else, would you believe me? This is a fact, this why the abuser is exerting his form of power or control over you. This is a person who has no form of power in his life. He has a dead end job or no job. He has a boss that talks down to him or he believes the he is beneath a person who he feels superior to.
Domestic violence, and abuse are forms of control. The domestic and verbal abuse are physical manifestations of the abuser's lack of power over his life. An abuser is the type of person that has been abused as a child or has watched his father or some other role model abuse someone else. This dysfunctional behavior is learned and it can possibly be unlearned.
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Leslie Mitchell has been writing articles online for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in Domestic Violence, you can also check out his latest website about:
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