Tinnitus relief was strong on the mind of poor old Ula May. Even though she had no idea that was why her ears were ringing. The doctor told her that was what she had. She told him she had not stepped on any nails.
Here is how it all began.
Ula, which is Black hat Zekes wife and Backwoods Bob's half sister from their daddy's second marriage, is a pretty good sized gal. I mean she is not huge like some of the girls around here but old Luther enjoyed a little too much corn juice one night, missed his Yugo and tried to drive Ula home.
Different story, another time.
Now she is like most of us from the hills of Georgia. Likes them gravy and biscuits, bacon, eggs, and a few grits for breakfast. Mmm. Hold on a minute. Going to the kitchen.
Now then. have you ever considered which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Well that is the same principle behind Ula and her high blood pressure. Old Doc says if she would lose some of that weight, she could find some tinnitus relief as her blood pressure would go down considerably.
Many a discussion has been had on whether Ula's blood pressure was a result of three breakfasts each morning or if it was hereditary. You see her Momma, may the good Lord rest her soul, got killed at a young age. No one knows if she would have been a big old girl or not.
Ula May's daddy and Momma met when he drove the school bus and he married her when she was in the sixth grade.
Now that is not as bad as it sounds. She was twenty-two and a half years old. Her parents were bound and determined she was going to be the first one in the family to graduate middle school.
Even if it killed. Which it did but here again, another story. I will say it was a good thing Mary had a little lamb follow her to school one day instead of a Russian Boar
All that aside, the high blood pressure was what was causing her ears to ring and why she was searching for some tinnitus relief.
Now old Doc gave her some good advice. Told her to, if not stop, at least slow down on the gravy and biscuits. To start eating some of that Quaker oatmeal instead.
Told her to quit spreading the rumor that corn juice wasn't just for breakfast any more.
Advised her to start exercising regular like. Also told her that having an especially hard fought bout with a cork in a jug was not the type of exercising he was talking about.
Said to either start walking a lot or buy a bicycle and begin to ride it.
Now Ula May always was against doing too much walking so she opted for the bicycle. That was a picture forged in the mind of all who seen it.
327 pounds of all women riding a twenty inch boy's bicycle. You ever heard of a duck riding a June Bug?
Still, Ula has finally found her some tinnitus relief.
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